Christ and the Church – Ephesians 5:21-33
We live in a time when marriage appears devalued on the surface. People live together, often “move on” to live with someone else. Children grow up in homes with four or five siblings, most from different parents. We witness so much pain and brokenness stemming from the breakdown of marriages and people living outside the marriage covenant. Society tells us to close our eyes, pretend it’s all acceptable, and that we can do as we please.
But deep inside, we know—we know it’s not true. We still search for good marriages, for authentic love. Like that famous line from The Princess Bride, “True love” seems so far out of reach that we hear Princess Buttercup say, “This is true love. You think this happens every day?” The pursuit, protection, and desire to defend true love throughout that movie resonates with all of us because it’s what we all want and long for.
Paul reveals why this longing runs so deep—because love between husband and wife is a picture of the love Christ has for the church, His bride:
Ephesians 5:25-27 (CSB) “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless.”
This isn’t merely advice for better relationships—it’s a profound revelation of God’s heart. Every Christian marriage is meant to be a living parable, a flesh-and-blood illustration of Christ’s sacrificial love for His people. When the world sees a husband loving his wife selflessly, sacrificially, with Christ-like devotion, they catch a glimpse of how Jesus loves the church.
Paul establishes the context with “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” (v. 21), then gives specific commands that reflect the relationship between Christ and the church.
To wives, Paul’s command is clear: “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church” (vv. 22-23). God is holding the husband responsible for the marriage, just as Christ is head of the church. When a wife respects her husband’s leadership, the world sees a picture of how the church responds to Christ. This respect reflects the church’s honor and reverence for Christ’s loving leadership.
To husbands, Paul gives the weightier command: Love your wives as Christ loved the church. Christ didn’t lord His authority over the church—He gave His life for her. He leads through sacrificial service, washing her with His word, preparing her for glory. Husbands are called to this same selfless, sanctifying love.
Here’s the sobering reality: as followers of Jesus, our marriages reflect this divine relationship back to the world—both to believers and unbelievers. Our marriages bring hope and demonstrate the kind of love and faithfulness God has for us.
When husbands fail to love their wives sacrificially, when that Christ-like love isn’t evident to all who observe their lives, it destroys the testimony of Christ. When wives aren’t following their husband’s leadership and respecting him, people don’t see the church’s relationship to Christ reflected in that home.
Paul concludes with this stunning truth: “This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church” (v. 32). Every Christian marriage is a small-scale reenactment of the greatest love story ever told—Christ’s pursuit and sacrifice for His bride.
The world desperately needs to see this kind of love. In our broken culture, a marriage where the husband loves sacrificially and the wife follows his leadership and respects him isn’t just beautiful—it’s revolutionary. It’s a living sermon that proclaims the gospel without saying a word.
Is your marriage telling the right story? Husbands, are you loving your wife as Christ loved the church—sacrificially, sanctifyingly, selflessly? Wives, are you demonstrating respect and following your husband’s leadership, reflecting how the church honors Christ? Are you both showing a watching world the beautiful relationship between Christ and His church?
Father, help us to see our marriages as more than personal relationships—help us see them as testimonies to Your love. Where we have failed to reflect Christ’s love for the church, forgive us and transform us. Make our homes places where Your love is on display, drawing others to the hope we have in Jesus. Amen.
